She met his mother for the first time at a family lunch, four months into the relationship. The woman was polite but cool, her compliments backhanded, her questions pointed. She commented on her son's weight, his haircut, his career choices, all in the same sighing tone of gentle disappointment. He sat through it silently, his shoulders curled inward, his voice becoming smaller with every passing minute. On the drive home, he said his mother was just old fashioned, that she meant well, that her opinion did not bother him. But she had seen the truth. His mother's opinion did not just bother him. It controlled him. And he had no idea.

A man's relationship with his mother is not a footnote in his biography. It is one of the most formative relationships of his life. It shaped his understanding of women, of love, of emotional expression, of what it means to be cared for and what it means to be a man. The way he relates to his mother, whether he is aware of it or not, is a template that echoes through his romantic partnerships. You ignore this template at your peril.