She had been with him for nearly a year when they had their first real fight. Not a polite disagreement about where to eat, not a mild irritation smoothed over with an apology, but a genuine, messy, raised voices, tears, hurt feelings conflict. It was about something that mattered to her deeply, and he handled it badly. He shut down. He deflected. He told her she was overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. When she tried to circle back to the conversation the next day, he acted as though nothing had happened and seemed annoyed that she was still upset. It was in that moment, not in the months of easy affection that preceded it, that she saw who she was really with. And she realized she had made a commitment to a man whose conflict skills she had never tested.