It is the most cliché question in modern dating. It has been typed into apps so many times that the words have lost their meaning. What are you looking for? The question sits in every first conversation like an obligatory handshake, and most people answer it with the same tired, safe, noncommittal phrases. I am open to seeing where things go. I just want to meet someone and vibe. Nothing too serious, but if it happens, it happens. The question has become so hollow that you might be tempted to skip it entirely. That would be a mistake.
The problem is not the question. The problem is that most people answer it without ever having answered it for themselves. They show up to the dating market with a vague fog of wants, a set of preferences they are too afraid to name, and a quiet hope that the right person will magically resolve their ambivalence. They ask the question of others while secretly hoping the other person will supply a direction they themselves lack. This is not dating with intention. This is floating, and floating is how you drift into situations that break your heart.
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